Disappeared News

I note that as of 4:30 p.m., the Superferry has not altered or cancelled Thursday's schedule, according to their website. Yet there is a high-surf warning in effect. From this morning, via surf watcher Brad Parsons:

1. EVENTS: The National Weather Service in Honolulu has issued a HIGH SURF WARNING for the NORTH AND WEST FACING SHORES of MOLOKAI and NORTH FACING SHORES of MAUI effective from 6:00 p.m. this evening to 6:00 p.m. Thursday.

A High Surf Warning indicates that dangerous, battering waves will pound the shoreline. This will result in very dangerous swimming conditions an deadly rip currents.

2. EFFECTS: A storm passing 1500 miles north of the state has generated a large northwest swell that will produce rapidly building surf along north and west facing shores of Kauai this afternoon.

Warning level surf will spread to Oahu, Molokai and Maui overnight, peaking late tonight and early
Thursday.

Surf heights along the north facing shores of Molokai and Maui will build rapidly to 25 to 30 feet tonight.

Surf heights along the west facing shores of Molokai will build rapidly to 15 to 20 feet tonight.

Forecast surf heights are estimates of the height of the face or front of waves.

So here is an experimental Barf Index warning. The index is still being developed by volunteers. Do you want to volunteer to help perfect this index? I didn't think so. But we'll do the best we can based on anecdotal reports and NOAA's surf predictions.

It's only fair that one day operators of Large Capacity Passenger Ferry Services (like the Superferry) should take on this task themselves. But I'm not holding my breath.

Uses for Barf Bags

  Aside from their intended function, barf bags have myriad uses. In fact, the number of things you can do with a barf bag is limited only by your imagination.

So I recommend asking for one (or more!) as soon as you board an interisland ferry, should the Barf Alert be Yellow or above.

Here are some of the things you can do with it, should you not need it for its design purpose:

• You can keep your Zune mp3 player in it so no one will know you didn't get a real iPod for Christmas.
• You can put your kid's lunch in it and no one will steal it at school.
• If the ferry bathroom is full, or too splattered with barf to use, well, there's always the handy barf bag (see this article for details of actual use).
• Take to restaurant as doggie bag.
• Use it to mail things. It's legal.
• Blow it up on an airplane and pop it, if you want to see if they'll actually arrest you.

And finally, my favorite use:

• You get on one of those interisland airplane flights where there is no reserved seating. It doesn't look too full, so you'd like to have room to stretch out. It would be nice if the next seat stayed empty. So take your purloined barf bag, open it, lean over slightly and stare at passengers coming down the isle. Look as apprehensive and uncomfortable as you can, while making eye contact with each one. Chances are good the seat next to you will stay empty.