Disappeared News: Weird newspaper day

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Weird newspaper day

by Larry Geller

It's been weird. First, hot water comes out of the cold water faucet. That's not supposed to happen. Then I looked at this morning's paper.

Don Ho! Don Ho! How can anyone miss that? What has become of the exalted profession of Copy Editor (disclosure: I was copy editor then managing editor of our college newspaper) (exalted meant you got to stay very late and later drink lots of beer).

In the old days, even after a paper's copy staff was finished with the paper, people continued to read and check it. I remember pictures of burly pressmen ripping off sheets as they roared through the oil- and ink-covered monster machine that was a traditional printing press.

(This photo is clipped from the Advertiser's special article on the installation of its new presses at Kapolei, Aug. 22, 2004)

Someone at Kapolei should have screamed "stop the presses!" on this one. Don Ho is sacred here, is he not? Thou shalt not misspell his short enough name.

Then the lead story, Hawaii Democrats may sue to close primary, contained a few amusements. Here's one:

"The party is tired of having unknown people nominating its candidates by a secret, shadowy process," said Tony Gill, a labor attorney who is prepared to file suit against the state on the party's behalf.

Yes, what the party wants, of course, is to have known people nominating its candidates by a secret, shadowy process. I found it strange and amusing that one might sue to achieve that.

And finally, maybe someone should sue Disney over this. Disney hotel kicks out Hawaii families after brawl:

A brawl involving two Hawai'i Pop Warner football teams and a team from Baltimore landed one child in an Orlando hospital and led to the families being thrown out of a Walt Disney resort.
Shortly after the fight, at about 3 a.m., the 70 players and family members from O'ahu as well as families from Baltimore were given written notices from the Walt Disney resort informing them that they had 20 minutes to vacate the property or Orange County sheriff's deputies would be called to remove them.
The notice prompted panic. Entire families, including small children, were awakened and told to gather in the corner of a parking lot as emergency lodging arrangements were made, Kong said.

20 minutes to vacate a Disney hotel. Uncle Walt would be upset about this. Collective punishment. It doesn't matter if there are rules, this is inhospitable treatment of guests. I hope this gets all the publicity it deserves. I hope also that people will think twice before staying at Disney hotels if they don't appropriately discipline their management for this.

All this and it's only page one.

Wait! One more: breaking news today—Santa Claus is coming to town Saturday for parade. Yup, he's on his way. This is a news story, it must be true.

What do interfaith families tell the children about Christmas? If one parent is not Christian and one is, or if both are not Christian, what to do when the kids want to sit on Santa's lap, just like all the other kids, and whisper to him what they want for Christmas? How to deal with the all-pervasive commercialism and even the question of the very existence of Santa himself?

Tune in tomorrow, Thursday, to Hawaii Public Radio's Town Square program 5-6 p.m. on KIPO, 89.3 FM, for a discussion of how interfaith families handle the annual holiday season.

Ok, the maintenance people found the crossed pipes and the cold water is running cold again. It won't make the evening paper (news of the weird, or something). Tomorrow there will be more news, most of it serious. For now, time to post this and hope I don't have any typos that Advertiser staff can mock me for.

Do Ho, indeed.